Professor Elemental

Professor Elemental is a time travelling chap hop artist from the 1880's, with more adventures than a reasonable person would believe to be true. He has released numerous albums and has literally dozens of fans, most of whom have not yet been killed by his various experiments.

Childhood
Charles Elemental was born to Bertram Cecil and Eunice Belinda (nee MacSpazny) Elemental, around 1840, having been conceived some time after the Ealing Hedgehog Breeders Cup and several bottles of Croydon's Finest Cooking Sherry and scotch. He inherited much of his inventive spirit from his father. Elemental admired the strength and open-mindedness of his mother toward his fathers' inventions, as well as her frightfully powerful left hook. His nanny, whom he adored, had been a former longshore-woman, professional wrestler, and oil derrick driller.

As a young boy living with his parents, Elemental always dreamed of having his own Monkey Butler named Geoffrey, and would often complain to his father that he wanted one, eventually getting a toy Orangutan and naming it Geoffrey. By 1845 Elemental was already showing an interest in experimentation, when he created a shrinking potion, dousing it over the gardener and shrinking him down, to the size of an ant.

In 1846, following Elemental's attempts to make a man out of pipe cleaners and a dead pigeon, his father decides to send him to either Belvedere Boarding School or James "The Bruiser" Bandylegg's School for Unnecessary Male Children, depending on which iteration of his own life he believes to be true at the time. There Elemental runs afoul of a bully named Cufbert who steals his toy Geoffrey. Elemental manages to recreate his shrinking potion from the previous year and shrinks Cufbert down to two foot tall, stealing back Geoffrey and getting his revenge.

Meeting Geoffrey
Sometime in 1880, having fired three assistants and a Butler in the space of a week, the Professor grew bored and decided to finish the construction of his new airship, the HMS Incidental. Working alone it takes him a few weeks to finish the work, but upon it's completion he grabs a Badgermingo pilot and sets off around the world. He arrives in the Congo where, with the use of his Human-Orangutan translation device he makes contact with an ape, looking to escape the jungle. The pair of them agree to head off together, Elemental hiring the ape as his butler and naming him Geoffrey. Not long after they return to Elemental Manor, the Professor regales Geoffrey with the tale of his great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Lord Percival Elemental. [ Lord Elemental Earl of Sussex]

The Professor takes Miss Sadie Bell to a party with the Duchess. Wanting to show off the Professor releases a series of Cyber Wasps at the party, in the hopes of impressing both women, but both for some unknown reason are angry. The Duchess kicks him out and Miss Bell breaks off any future dates between the pair. The Professor soon learns that Mr. Belmont is attempting to woo Sadie and he comes up with a plan to win her back. He is going to build her the worlds greatest arboretum. He and Geoffrey board the HMS Incidental once more, travelling all around the world to gather up one of every plant, before constructing the arboretum for Sadie, winning her affections once more.

The Professor and Geoffrey continue to explore the world, winding up in a lost temple of Incas, where the pair of them are kidnapped and due to be sacrificed. It is currently unknown how they survived.

The Professor spends some time working on a new invention - a Dimensional Portal - which allows him to travel into paintings. The experience is so surreal that he decides to destroy the machine.

In need of some funding, the Professor hosts a bake sale, planning to unveil the ultimate cake. The cake suddenly comes to life, calling itself Cakeface and attacking the judges until it is stopped by the Professor and Geoffrey.

The Professor's adventures continue and in 1881 he sets off on a quest to retrieve the mythical golden frog. The journey takes several weeks, resulting in him being proclaimed the god of a small desert island and nearly sacrificed, flying through the skies on a hand built raft, and visiting every country in the world including Wonderland and Oz. Upon his return he claims to have found the Golden Frog under his sofa, and heads to the Fotherington's Gentlemen's club of London to regale them with the tale, although they are skeptical of the veracity of his claims.

While relaxing at home Geoffrey becomes encased in the Lost Armour of Xitlocan, and the Professor is forced to free his Simian Sidekick as he transforms into Mech-Geoffrey.

The Professor and Geoffrey take a trip to Borneo where they locate a magical bejewelled teapot, bringing it home with them, only to discover it's magical properties, almost causing Elemental to lose the best roses contest at the ninth annual Professor Elemental Village Fete. At the last minute with an assist from Geoffrey, Elemental is able to defeat Mr. Belmont.

The Professor and Geoffrey travel to the Peruvian Jungles, following a lead from the Armour of Xitlocan to find something hidden in the jungle. The pair of them bump into Bertha Von Bismarck, believing her to be dead following the Zeppelin chase of '79. The two explorers battle to open a hidden mountain, finding a Space-Faring Dirigible inside. Later the pair of them sell the finds to the British Museum.

Some months after his lecture at the Fotherington's Gentlemen's Club the Professor finds himself strapped for cash, his lectures now banned. He decides to turn his attention to the construction of a new giant telescope.

Further Adventures
While bored at the Manor, the Professor discovers Geoffrey has received a letter from his cousin Solovar, informing them of a poacher planning to steal the Last Dodo Egg. The Professor and Geoffrey head off to investigate, with the help of No Eyed Jim and defeat the Poacher - Marcel Deloux.

The Professor and Geoffrey are visited by Bernard Tranter from the mayors office, to inform them that the Gentleman Rex has escaped from the menagerie. The Professor makes use of the Dadelus V and Mavis to take down the Rex, with a little help from Tranter.

On November 3rd, the Professor receives a visit from Doctor Evans, claiming that his dead Aunt Fanny is haunting a horn, and planning to kill him at 2AM. The Professor sends him away, claiming it's after 2AM so he's safe anyway and sends him away.

The Professor is interrupted on a lunch date with Sadie Bell by three ragamuffins throwing a brick through the window of Elemental Manor. Determined to prove himself to Sadie, the Prof creates a machine to grant him super strength taking to the streets as Super-Prof and Geoffrey the Ape-Wonder. As they prepare to fight the ragamuffins, the super strength wears off, forcing the Professor to return to the drawing board.

Sadie leaves the Professor home alone, and orders him not to cause trouble. The Professor successfully avoids issues with the badgers in the kitchen, as well as Wilkins with the Harpies, following the smell of tea into the sewers where he meets a man sized mouse, Sir Henry Ratkinson. A giant mouse accidentally created by one of his experiments. The Professor invites him back upstairs into the Manor, only to run into Sadie and her friends, causing her friends to run off screaming.

The Professor and Sadie attend a ball at Lord Buckingham's Mansion near Winchester and Sadie sneaks off leaving the Professor alone. The Professor decides to raid the buffet table, however he is so overt in his actions he is kicked out by security. [ The Forgotten]

The Professor takes another trip around the world, heading to the Orient where he is forced to fight a hoard of Geckos, before taking an Imperial Airways airship to New York. While flying on the airship the Professor and Geoffrey fight off a bunch of thieves, led by a man named Gustav. [ Perish with Difficulty]

Upon his eventual return to Elemental Manor, the Professor was greeted by Sadie, wearing a dress of cakes. [ Sweet Cold Colation]

Making Comic Books
The Professor makes an ill fated trip to the South Pole, with only his lucky jumper and a good book, taking with him a collection of writers and artists, rather than an actual hiking crew. Fearing for his death, the Professor narrates part of his life story to Sir Christopher Mole, getting him to write it down and the artists to draw it, while he writes to Miss Sadie Bell, wanting to tell her of his stories before his death, sending both it, and the completed comic book to her as a parting gift.

It is currently unknown how he actually survived the journey back home, but upon his return he employs more writers and artists to continue the work, holding a family fun day as his launch party. The giant robot piloted by comic artists malfunctions, trashing sections of London's financial district, the band's playing is so bad it causes 200 animals to explode and Sir Christopher Mole and Alexander Patterson are both sent to the Asylum.